Before I write this I have to put a disclaimer.

I've been through pain and loneliness for a long time. It's possible I may not even be able to see or hear accurately through technology that helps me to do so. The music I think is fairly accurate, live conversations might not be, but I thought I would type this to the best of my ability. I don't really know what the rest of you might be reading if you even see it.

When I was 3 I spoke with my father. I asked him if the food we eat builds us better for different careers. Which country has the best Engineers? What do most of them eat during their lives? Which country has the best Doctors? What do most of them eat during their lives?

We already know what foods help build muscle, for a bodybuilder, or someone working in construction. We don't know what food makes a person a good engineer or doctor.

I thought about it and told him that we could ask people in Bulgaria. However some of them may lie. I asked him if they use something to buy food that has a list. "Credit and Debit cards." I smiled at a thought I had in me.

I'd imagine hundreds of years from now we could study this. Whether in a democracy or any other system we could have people working that are better at their job, because they ate the best food choices for what they want to do as adult during both their childhood and later on.

I'm losing my hair. I know one thing though. Fruit, which unfortunately I got hit for as a child, is the best food for hair growth.

P.S. It's also possible that I can see perfectly well. I gave Amundi Group an idea on eye movement technology. I'm going to try to write a word twice just by hand coordination. Tomato Tomato

P.P.S. I could expand on this by saying that maybe it also has to do not just with a particular food but a combination of foods in a dish. The way the group of foods digests together in the body when eaten in one meal.

P.P.P.S.

My father asked me after which country I think it is. I answered in a simple way. The US, because it can grow a very large amount of food, so most people who are working have enough of the right foods for their brain and body, even if they're eating many of the wrong ones.

Due to a damaged nerve in my ear I hear my own speech poorly. I can't have a conversation and I need better technology. Unfortunately there is none that exists.

Before I met Kiana, I met another girl. She also had purple hair. Previously, for some reason maybe it noticed that I was in pain, we had a mouse in our apartment. It brought me a ring that it took from somewhere. I don't know who it belongs to, but I put it in my pocket. The internet says that rats are voracious, this is not true, mice are. And yet I very much dislike this, because they take things away from someone else. Anyway I met her in the same exact place that I met Kiana, on the sidewalk past the streetlight going home from my first school. I had this.. thing in my apartment, which was like a necklace with miniature spheres on it and a button. I had put the ring around it. I tried to put the necklace on her, by raising it in front of her, with the platinum diamond ring, the diameter which would fit a very young girl and she took a few steps back. I didn't really like her in all honesty, but I thought about it and I opened the necklace and dropped the ring on the ground, then put the necklace in my pocket.

I guess I tried to show her a symbol. Much later on Justin Bieber wrote a song "as long as you love me I'll be your platinum, I'll be your silver, I'll be your gold."

In even more honesty, even though we didn't say a single word to eachother. I tried to show her something similar through our eyes, because I had strong eyes and I think so did she by dropping the ring in front of me and standing in front of her. She left. Unfortunately I think as she's an adult now she probably picked jewelry.

I have a personal feeling towards earrings. That they're a problem, because the woman piercing her ears goes through pain in order to do so. And yet almost all women on earth have pierced their ears. I guess I could say I would have thrown earrings on the ground as well. Maslow wrote that we need absence of pain for our survival so I have to ask all the young women in the world, various ages "Why do you do this to yourself?"

I think an adult woman looks better without wearing jewelry because you can see more of her. Maybe earrings affect her hearing ability because her ears went through pain? I don't know and this post might be censored but if I can change at least a few people reading it in the world I've made a difference. I never saw her again by the way. I guess I wanted to do something nice for her at first but I realized that I'm a pure person and I shouldn't give a girl a ring that was taken from someone else.

Through the mouse' sin I tried to remove the desire of money towards her.

That mouse left our apartment before that, I think because mice aren't hit so their weak brains develop some strength and the only words I told it is "There is no food for you here please leave." After that there were absolutely no mice in our apartment or our building.

Later on we had rats which are very annoying things, there were very few of them though.

I don't know if mice have a soul but because of what we did as a team I think that that mouse may be in heaven looking at a huge cheese wheel. It also may be in hell yet not being tortured while looking at an equally large cheese wheel.

I guess if I could put a moral to this even though it would be a very strange one it's that sometimes the mistake of an animal can become something that leads to a right path? As cliche as it is everything happens for a reason. I don't know. I have no idea. But it should be noted that I didn't like her. And I fell in love with Kiana whom I need now that I'm older. I forgot about meeting her for years because I was hit by my father but I remembered her somewhere around the end of high school and went to a twitch convention. I saw her rush out to see me but I was far away. My mother pulled me away from her. She wrote a few songs and she's popular but I think based on the lyrics that she thinks I don't like her. I called myself Casper when I met her because I thought everyone would forget me. I wish I could see her again without anyone pulling me away or causing harm or problems. At one point, though I had forgotten her name, Kiana, I actually knelt in front of a cross in our auditorium in school during lunchtime a couple of times. I was asking to be with her when I'm an adult. To have her and to spend time with her. The cross fell. But I can say with courage that I'm not going to stop asking God for this even if every cross in the world falls. Some people say that Religion says not to turn God into a symbol. Maybe he doesn't want people to wear a cross. We discussed it in Bible class.

Post Scriptum.

I made a new piano song.

When I was young in Bulgaria I observed my parents and family getting up out of chairs and walking when we went to places.

I learned that most people write with their right hand, a few write with their left. And I noticed that each time a family member would walk somewhere they used their right leg first. I don't think there is much value in this memory, but I would make a scientific hypothesis that a few people in our world are left footed. Don't actually think that's a word but anyway.

When I was in Bulgaria I had iron deficiency. So I decided to boil nettles into a tea. There is a difference between "Mitko Rouynekov architecture student boils nettles fresh from the garden" and a chemist makes nettles into a normal tea.

I try to improve my voice through hot and cold drinks but the words come out wrong sometimes. I really don't know what I should do.

There have been some fumes in every apartment I've been in.

Once me and my father went outside somewhere around 8pm. He said "See? You have air here. There's wind."

I couldn't agree with him. I felt like I don't have an apartment because of the fumes and what he said. It feels like being homeless. You don't have enough oxygen in your apartment. This is why when I wake up early in the morning I go outside on my balcony for a few minutes. It's always after 5 am and no one has raised any complaints so far.

If you are able to, please let everyone know. This is why. This is the reason. There is nothing suspicious and I wouldn't say fire if there's no fire.

I think everyone should be informed of this. If it's not allowed call me on the phone and I'll wait until 6 or 7 am to do it.

that keeping people in a loop is against human rights. That includes the people who they speak to through technology which speaks for them. :)

Sometimes I speak in my apartment specifically in my room in private when I'm thinking about something, because it helps you form a theory or hypothesis.

Smoking changes the voice, it may even be inaudible and I only hear the words perfectly in english through my hearing technology, and there's also technology which is malicious and can change words.

I want to assure you, that I have never discussed anything wrong or immoral, but sometimes it's things from history or the present which change a person's views towards everything and make them wonder things about the world.

For the love of God please don't record me.

Post Scriptum: There are many good things sometimes as well. It's kind of funny.

When I was a teenager my father rubbed something on my toe. It caused a corn which felt uncomfortable. I was half asleep but I noticed what he was doing. I told him I would go to a doctor and seek justice. The next day he rubbed something else and the corn from whatever liquid he originally put there went away. A few days passed and he did the same thing again.

I plan to explain this to my general doctor, regardless of him passing away, so that it can be put in his file. -That he tried to disgrace me and control me through discomfort.

I tried rubbing cream that helps it, it split into two now, so I guess I need a better cream.

When I was young in one of our buldings, the super needed to fix the heating system in our apartment. He opened the cover in front of me and the lid fell through. I grabbed a strong magnet and put it on top of the lid, and then pulled the lid through, as a handle for the lid. Then I made it stay up with a screwdriver as a wedge.

Later on I met him and gave him the magnet. For a while we were friends because of that.

It may not be the first time that this has happened, the thought that you could use a magnet as a handle for when you can't grab something. But it's a meaningful memory.