Hello everyone. With one my speeches being deleted without any reason given, I thought I would start posting these in text form in a newspost. (1/2)

Speech Project

When you have children... In the case that you decide to have children after you finish college, find a job, and get married... Why would you hit them? You want them being "The Boss" later on. C. E. O. -of the company. Why would you want them being... submissive? ... My topic is child abuse by the way.

A child doesn't know what it's doing. It's brain isn't fully grown (formed) yet. We mature, yes our brains mature, until were twenty five, which is when our cells start replicating slower and we start dying. Child Abuse doesn't happen in the animal kingdom. Wolves don't do it. Everything seems to work out fine. God, all your accomplishments, and you still have children: who are unsure of how to think for themselves, so they copy the previous generations' way of thinking which leads to complete destruction, of any hope for evolution in society. The older generation's way of thinking was fine... for their time. We need new thinkers. When something is newer, other people don't know how to think, so they're thinking about it, and making new things... unlike old things which no one thinks about anymore. Do you like my speech so far? If I've influenced you, then I've influenced all the people that you'll influence in your lifetime... and so on.

Speech Project 2 (Midori's Take)

In the beginning... everyone was alone... Then we were Tribes... Villages... Countries... Allied Countries... Eventually we would logically be under a "World Government." ...

We would have Free Citizenship to all countries... You could go on vacation or live anywhere without applying for a visa and waiting years for a passport after...

There would be no wars...

Although there would still be social classes and differences... money would be shared among a larger population. It would be in Government's interest to invest money in poorer countries that need it more than others...

It's not a bad thing...

What are some other benefits to this that you can think of?

How to thwart scammers (Midori's Take)

Information Technology 101: If anyone has the occasional problem of a website with an enter password screen popping up... here's how to solve it.

Step 1: End Task Firefox or whatever you use, like chrome, edge, or opera.

Step 2: Unplug your modem and reopen firefox. Which unsurprisingly goes back to the same window. At this time, due to there being no internet connection, the scam site can't load and there is no password screen in front of it blocking you off from going on another site. Step 3: Go to another site and plug the internet back on. There you have it. You're welcome and thanks for viewing this information technology guide.

Apples

Scenario-The year is 2020. The network has run out of ideas for cartoon episodes, and are looking for any material to animate. You have come up with a script you desperately are trying to pitch for the network. Try to voice act as if you are this person, working for a company, sharing their idea, hoping it will come to life in an animated episode of a cartoon series and air on TV.

The scenario also has a narrator behind it, let's call him John, explaining how our company idea-guy feels during what he is saying by constantly interupting him with an explanation. You, the voice actor, can use John's description as a way to voice the writer. Let's call him Fred to avoid confusion. But also can voice act John's parts if you choose to make it more difficult to do.

""Okay so you guys know how an apple a day keeps the doctor away?"

Narrarator's Line (Yes I expect you to voice act these too.)

---"The cartoon writer is saying this part as they are trying to connect with the TV producers/animators by sharing something the company bosses have heard before. The writer continues speaking."

"A doctor is going grocery shopping for his family after work, and he accidentally buys apples instead of pears, and then his wife makes apple soup and they're eating the apple soup for dinner and then he starts fading and the family is like "NOOOO" and"

Narrarator continues describing the situation:

---"As our protagonist says this, they do not lower their voice, but take miniature semi-pauses between the words, that increase in time as they speak, as if realizing the ridiculousness of the entire idea they have written down, yet boldly going, where no Writer of cartoon scripts has gone before, by proudly continuing to speak. They vocalize forward, like a brave virgin white knight!" 

"...then he returns the next morning only to find his daughter smoking a ground up apple in her room."

Narrarator's Part

---"Our writer has just a clever way to promote an anti-drug message, and they expect what they say next to be said in the cartoon they are describing by one of the characters."

"Stay above the influence kids."

Narrator interupts once again.

---"The protagonist says in a very-Serious-and-Sure-of-himself Tone.

"And then it starts raining apples outside the window of the house. -fade out-"

Narrator.

---"They Said in a voice as if they just made this part up as a way to wrap up the whole thing.""

Note from Belthagor:

Hello viewers!

I know, the script is a bit weird, but the masterpiece is that it pushes the limits for what a voice actor can do, and provides a suitable vocal exercise. A learning experience...

If you would like to learn how to make your own apple soup, there are plenty of recipes on the internet. Long Live Scandinavia for bringing the original recipe to the world!

Speech Project 3 (Midori's Take)

Okay so... when I was in school we had to take either midterms, finals, or some kind of important exam. Coincidentally, on the same day there were visitors at our school with very young kids. One of the younglings had wandered off while some of my friends and I were in the hallway speaking because we had some free time after finishing our exam. This was in front of a room where other students were taking a math final. The kid wanted a balloon, at least I think so because that was mainly one of the very few words he said. So a colleague of mine says "hey kid, you want ... lots of balloons? They have ONE HUNDRED BALLOONS in that room" and then he pointed to the room with a sign that said Math Finals: Do not disturb, on the door. To our surprise, the bold kid burst into the room and said "BAHLOON?" And we all laughed, while our Professor looked over in horror. And that is the story of how everyone else and I got detention. The end.

Beans

You know, I'm going to share something that will completely change the way you think about Money. A long while ago, when I was a child, food was less abundant in Bulgaria, so I had an ingenious idea -that we would buy the least expensive food, which was beans at the time, costing about 60 cents a bag. Many other people thought this way, so we were able to feed ourselves. We made it. It took hours to cook and the stoves in Europe run on electricity instead of gas, so in reality it was the most expensive food. Bulgaria is not a very rich country, and a bit of backstory to this, I guess you could call it, that helps highlight the situation. After the collapse of the Soviet Union, many countries returned to Capitalism. Of course, when something is newer, people don't know how to think, because they aren't used to it, so any change is negative at first, especially an entire political system. For a while there were very few business owners, previously all businesses were Government owned, there were no rich people to make their own business, it was chaos. This lasted for a while, although I was born a bit later. Anyway, the last words I want to leave you with is that theres more factors to economics than just supply and demand, and you have to take all of them into account when making financial decisions. And the grand finale? -If everyone brought the cheapest healthy food available, no I don't mean chips and the like, then it would eventually become the most expensive food, and then move on to the next. So theres really a lot of things to think about from these examples."

edit: [Although, from experimentation, which I remembered recently, you can soak beans in water overnight and then they only take 30 minutes to cook, which is a small half hour.]

Beans (SvenLenz Take)

You know, I'm going to share something that will completely change the way you think about Money. A long while ago, when I was a child, food was less abundant in Bulgaria, so I had an ingenious idea -that we would buy the least expensive food, which was beans at the time, costing about 60 cents a bag. Many other people thought this way, so we were able to feed ourselves. We made it. It took hours to cook and the stoves in Europe run on electricity instead of gas, so in reality it was the most expensive food. Bulgaria is not a very rich country, and a bit of backstory to this, I guess you could call it, that helps highlight the situation. After the collapse of the Soviet Union, many countries returned to Capitalism. Of course, when something is newer, people don't know how to think, because they aren't used to it, so any change is negative at first, especially an entire political system. For a while there were very few business owners, previously all businesses were Government owned, there were no rich people to make their own business, it was chaos. This lasted for a while, although I was born a bit later. Anyway, the last words I want to leave you with is that theres more factors to economics than just supply and demand, and you have to take all of them into account when making financial decisions. And the grand finale? -If everyone brought the cheapest healthy food available, no I don't mean chips and the like, then it would eventually become the most expensive food, and then move on to the next. So theres really a lot of things to think about from these examples.

edit: [Although, from experimentation, which I remembered recently, you can soak beans in water overnight and then they only take 30 minutes to cook, which is a small half hour.]

Speech Project -Lost Track Which Number

You know, I'm going to share something with you that will completely change the way you think about politics. A politicians dilemma is not in their finances so much as in their opinions. In fact, there is no politician that will directly share their opinion. They share their opinions through their underlings. Then the people under who are handling the backlash towards themselves instead of, for example, a candidate for president of a country. report back saying "People like this, people don't like that." The politician then thinks to themselves, "ah I need to change the way I say this" when addressing the voters/groups of people they are targeting for votes. If you think about it, this is rather clever. If I were famous... how would I share my ideas? -I would do it through other people, to see how the public thinks." I don't want to say any more... *laughs nervously* ... (Fine, because the majority of people might be swines who like to cause problems in my life.) (Keeping in mind majority doesn't mean everyone.)

Business Speech

I'm going to teach you something that will completely change the way you think about business. Regardless of the industry, there can be major changes that allow for more profit, or less spending on a product. You would most likely have to decide between one, what you want to accomplish, and what you think will be most profitable choice to make. One major industry where this is prominent would be the gaming industry, and I guess the software industry in general. As computers and other technologies improve with time, becoming faster and faster, an existing game or computer program company must decide: Does it want to invest money into improving features, adding better graphics in their game or more content, all of which potentially raises the specs required for cpu, graphics card, memory. Or would it like to avoid investing some of the money it has made, and instead go into the casual market. When checkers was first invented, people played it professionally and competitively, it was more difficult to make a board and the pieces than when new technologies came out and it became a casual game, to a less dedicated but larger market. Some gamers stick to one or two games, some move on to the newest ones available and review them or something, losing interested in older ones. Some enjoy classics that were ahead of their time, archeic games that are difficult to find, that existed before the internet, and had no way of gaining popularity, as an attempt to look at history. Most play casually and even underclock their cpu to increase their computer's lifespan, which has worked tremedously well at preserving a computer that worked well for 10 years before it broke due to a stupid reason. As for other computer programs, they become older and older, computers become stronger, and we see, for example teenagers using programs that make 3d models. That previously only professionals used in their careers. Think about it.

Speech about Youtube

Theres one thing I really like about newgrounds. Newgrounds allows many content creators to team up, including musicians. A lot of musical artists these days keep strict rights on their music, you see youtube, multiple times, remove videos just because they used music in them. What these artists don't realize is that when someone makes a video, an animation, informational video, instructional video, or even just gameplay footage, and wants to use a popular song, everyone wins. Their viewer see your song, some of which may not have heard it, used in a new way, a new theme for it. The content creator is essentially making a music video that features your song and provides for a new way to interpret it. Collabing this way helps both people, maybe the other person knows how to do something that you are unable to. By mixing two creations, a larger audience views them. People have varying interest and it may be a way to display your music to people who have a different interest or hobby they are excited about... When music is used in a video, certain moments can highlight things in the music that have never been thought of before or noticed before. So more musicians should allow people, especially people who work hard on their content, to use their songs in their stuff. Thoughts?

Belthagor's Music Infomercial (orkork's take)

Belthagor has made many songs, and we are offering this collection for a price of only nine ninety nine. Featuring hits such as [I love you girl... Please make me a sammich... You make the best sammiches in the world... I love you girl. Want you to stay at home cause I don't like being alone and I'm hungry for a sammich... And I don't know what you put in my sammiches but I do know and I hope we will always be together... Forever and ever... Here's my fifth credit card... Go buy something nice... Cause you entice... Meeeee.] and who could forget the award winning single that goes this way: "[I got the Blues... Cause I never figured out how to tie my shoes... You see... The other kids figured it out when they were three. Oh I got the Blues Blues Blues... Cause I don't know how to tie my shoes shoes shoes... It doesn't exactly put women in the mood mood mood... And when I try to flirt... They think I'm being rude.] Get this valueable collection for a limited time only!

Belthagor talks about stuff (Midori's edit)

You know, if there’s something I've learned from video games and technical stuff, it's that they overload your cpu. Would you use up one or two more degrees increase in cpu to record a session? Maybe, but you'd get much more out of it like footage you can upload somewhere. I personally play games to entertain people, and I think other people are just wasting time not doing anything productive. A lot of people, when I explain it, say things like "Oh I have no idea you felt that way." As time passes you grow up, go to school, and get a career. At first you are afraid of spending, but then you start to make money through your first career. You spend more, you get more experience, you get paid more, and you get less and less afraid of spending and investing in things. I think my gaming hobby being turned into something meaningful reflects on the beginnings of what to do to be more successful in life. Make sure some of the things you do have benefit, both to yourself and other people, to entertain, to inspire, and find new mechanics in game or in real life. If you were buying a house, the majority of that cost is the land, not the materials, or the wiring of the house, or the labor for engineering and architecting it. Wouldn't you spend an extra small amount percent wise to buy a house that lasts much longer? Or isn't too hot in the summer? I think a lot of people don't make investments in places where they should, penny pinching in places where you could get much more bang for your buck. You save money, but it shortens your life. You commit to a hobby, but you don't gain anything out of it, if at least memories which will last a long time after you pass way, that other people can view and be inspired by. This is why I think young people should invest more in themselves and in their purchases. Create more, but most importantly of all, make sure you have more reasons for the things you do.

Wolves Project

Here is a story meant to ruin your childhood, written by belthagor, and spoken by VoicesByCorey. Once upon a time there was a boy who befriended wolves. He yelled "wolf" at night, the villagers came to defend the sheep, and this little prank went on for a while, until one day he yelled wolf, but nobody came. The boy said "okay guys the coast is clear" and his wolf friends came over after he whistled for them to. They ate all the sheep and cooked him some of the meat so he could feast too. Overnight, while relaxed from their stomachs being full, the grandmother wolves knitted him a wool sweater and then said goodbye as they went to fall asleep in their wolf den in the forest... I have problems.

Inspirational Coffee Speech

Why do you drink coffee? And wouldn't you like it if there were technology that makes your coffee more enjoyable? Logically it would be some sort of machinery, and take up the whole basement of starbucks or some place, with an area of effect, by raising the prices of coffee drank on the premises for the additional effect, it would pay for itself in a few years. Think about that. Alternatively, wouldn't you drink it to stay awake in a place you'd like to be in, so you can stay awake all night, once, without turning it into a habit. You know a lot of people drink alcohol at night to enjoy themselves, but if you think about it, it makes you tired and clouds the mind, whereas coffee and caffiene in general stimulate you and wake you, which could also be used to enjoy the night and to party. When something is newer, people don't know how to think, because they aren't used to it, they need more time to catch up to something that's older, so if you'd like, take time to think about all of this. And the grand finale which would be my pun here would be that this is the first draft in writing, the word draft is used in beer, and coffee can actually be a celebration drink similar to beer. It is a draft coffee.

Inspirational Nature Project

Trees are from nature. Trees can kill people when they fall in a city and hit someone, the larger the tree, the worse the damage. They damage houses and properties in general, people lose their homes because of a little wind and nature at work. It is counter productive to have trees outside of forests where they belong, so lets chop down all the trees in populated areas and replace them with something that gives a lot of oxygen like seaweed farms but can't kill someone or destroy their home. I have tried to bring this idea forward to multiple people, so far none have considered it seriously. When something is newer people don't know how to think because they aren't used to it, so they need more time to catch up to something that's older. Branches get in the way of buildings and need to be removed, it is a high maintenance plant. I bet you would think that a fire would generally be a bad thing, right? Well if there were too much oxygen and then someone lit a match, we all know what would happen. Forest fires from nature, from lightning, are natures way of protecting the planet from itself, because it lowers the amount of living trees at once. It is not prepared for human polution, and the burning of fossil fuels, smoking, automobiles, planes, so it is a flawed system, causing more harm than good. But overall nature while being nice to look at, can ruin entire families lives because they can't afford another place to live after they have settled, some may be paying off their house while they lose it then they are in debt without a place to live. Insurance companies that insure homes lose money simply because of tall, heavy trees. We need to do something, although I personally believe there are people who fear the way of human progress, so they won't do something like plant trees in the forests where they cut them down, and instead put them in populations way, to harm people.

Water Speech

I have drank water in just about every major place I have gone. Usually I preferred Bulgaria's flawless water, full of minerals and healthy things, but I also fancied France's water in the airport hotel, which tasted different. Britain's water, also in the airport hotel, and Germany and Italy's water as well. I even drank water at niagara falls, even though the tour guide specifically said not to. It's becoming dirtier with pollution nowadays, but back in the 90's it truely made you healthy, even tap water did. I'm not sure why it has decreased in quality world wide these days exactly, but it's much worse, even if bottled. I'm glad I had these experiences drinking water, and exploring the taste in different countries and places, although usually I buy bottled nowadays. It's not the same.

The world's funniest shampoo commercial

Early one morning, two friends were on their way home from grocery shopping... As they walked, a girl jogs pass them. One of the guys points her out to his friend and exclaims in an excited voice, "Look, a person!” His friend, and the girl, are confused but say nothing. The two guys continue their walk, and the same girl jogs past them again. The same guy points her out to his friend again with more enthusiasm. "Look! The same exact person!” The girl is once again confused but is flattered by the recognition. As she passes the guys, she decides to jog in a circle around a building to pass the guys again. The same guy points excitedly again and says "Look, the same exact person, a third time!!" At this point, it is clear he is trying to make his friend notice the girl. However, the friend is clueless and misses an opportunity to be set up with the girl. The girl jogs past the guys and the friend v says slowly "Awww... She left." Fin

Elevators

In this scenario we see belthagor walking into an elevator and then staying in it for several minutes because he forgot to press the button. Belthagor shortly becomes confused and thinks the elevator is broken. We see belthagor begin to panic and press the alarm button. The fire department arrives and presses the button for the elevator to open. A firefighter speaks: You're welcome for us saving you, please don't call us again.

Gambler's Fallacy

You know. I am going to teach you gamblers fallacy in words that anyone including a child can understand, through an example in life. It was raining yesterday, it rained today, there is no possible way that it will rain tommorow! And the next day after our main hero said this... It rained.

Collab with YurgenBurgen

You know... how come singers in the US both male and female rarely to never use peoples names in their love songs? They're like "I love you" or "As long as you love me" or "I love him/her" without really using a persons name ever. A lot of songs in France use someone's name. "Julie mmm Julie Julie mmm Juliee eee eee eee eee" You can tell the musician is interested in this Julie person, and is excited when she walks into a room so he's singing a song about her. And some other french woman can try to imagine how Julie the unknown lady being admired must feel while listening to the guy sing about her, and maybe sing along for a bit. Or some guy who hears the song can imagine how the guy is feeling about his Julie. While in the US it's totally unclear who the guy or girl is singing about if anyone at all. It's too beurocratic and uptight. I guess it's probably because unlike Europe, where we may argue yell and swear for twenty minutes over which car can cross a small bridge first, or get in a fist fight, we never do things like hang out in court rooms, the most popular social spot to meet people and have lawsuits." We think more relaxed and we don't make much trouble when a person's name is used. How many people have the first name John Smith, for example in the US? Although a while ago someone used the name Delilah in a song. That's the only name I have heard used within many many years. I asked my friend in college who was a smoker and he said "They don't actually love absolutely anyone, they're just doing it to please the masses. They're like "I love you" they didn't even make the song about a person. It's ridiculous." And then the three of us made up the term "Bitch Lasagna." No pewdiepie did not create it, we did and posted it on urban dictionary a decade ago. It's basically a person who's all lovey dovey but doesn't really like anyone." In years it became popular.

The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog.

Give me just One sentence. Anyone can make a criminal. Write or say a sentence. "The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog." "How do you know it was quick?" "How do you know it was brown?" "How do you know it was a fox?" "How do you know it jumped?" "How do you know it was lazy?" "How do you know it was a dog?" "Are you lying?" "You're under oath." And then after this series of questions... Anyone can make an insane person by asking "Did you hallucinate the whole thing while walking through the Forest?

Collab with RoaringBear

So you know, I've been thinking, How come singers in the US never use people's names in their love songs? They're always singing 'I love you,' or 'as long as you love me,' or 'I love him or her' without using a person's name. A lot of songs in France use someone's name, like Julie for example. You can tell the musician is really interested in Julie and is excited when she walks into a room. So, he's singing a song about her. Some other French woman can try to imagine how Julie the unknown lady must feel, being admired by somebody, and in fact even having the guy sing about her."

"Maybe the girl trying to imagine Julie is singing along for a bit, or, you know, some guy who hears the song can imagine how the guy is feeling about Julie. While in the US it's totally unclear who the guy or girl is singing about, if anyone at all. It's too bureaucratic and... uptight. I guess it's probably because - unlike in Europe - where we argue and yell and swear about which car can cross a small bridge first or get in fist fights, we never do things like hang out in courtrooms, the most popular social spot to meet people and have lawsuits."

"We think more relaxed and don't make much trouble when a person's name is used. How many people have the name John Smith, for example, in the US? Although a while ago someone did use the name Delilah in a song. That's the only name I've heard used within quite a few years. I asked my friend in college who was a smoker and he said, 'They don't actually love absolutely anyone, they're just doing it to please the masses. They're like "I love you" they didn't even make the song about a person. It's ridiculous.'" And uh, then the three of us made up the term 'Bitch Lasagna.'"

"No, Pewdiepie did not create it. We did and we posted it on Urban Dictionary a decade ago. It's basically a person who's all lovey-dovey but doesn't really like anyone. Over the years, it's become a more popular phrase.

Never Give Up! (Art Trade Speech)

Ahoy there, lads! Captain Loudmouth here, and today I'm going to talk to you about how things are different nowadays and how I want to encourage you not to give up. Keep driving the friend ship. Through the seven seas in exploration and different things, you may meet pirates! It would be wise to keep your friend ship well equipped to deal with such a mess and for you not to get robbed or possibly even forced to become a part of the pirate crew. Piloting the friend ship in the name of evil, grog and plundering is a big no no. The friend ship may be difficult to drive at times, and in stormy weather, it's good to have a competent crew. But always, always remember to have lemons on board to prevent scurvy while sailing on your trusty friend ship. You're welcome lads, and thank you for viewing this briefing for your brand new friend ship. Detailed instructions and cabin members not included. Results may vary.

Game Show Event

So, hear me out, I thought of a fun event that could be part of a game show. Okay so... it's a guy or girl, and theres shelves with different shampoos on them, different main color bottles of shampoo. I think it would be more appealing for a woman but anyway, the person is told to sit in a cart on rails and the cart moves slowly through the area until it reaches the end. The person in the cart, before it begins moving through the area around the shampoo shelves, has been given a paper with different color gummy sticky wads, similar to chewing gum, but for the kind used to keep post it notes on a board. They are instructed to throw the small even size wads and match the same color at the shampoos they see, for example a red wad of sticky non-edible gum needs to land on a red colored bottle of shampoo for them to win that shampoo. They need to be quick while looking around the area while in their cart and throw things accurately at the shampoos that they want to win. After the ride is over, the game show announcer says to the guy or girl. "You are now free to walk around the area and pick 10 different shampoos, any that you wish, even if you didn't land a single piece of gum on them." The idea behind this is to see which shampoos will be picked over others, and different companies benefit from this by advertising their products, for example one company may have 5 different brands of shampoos on individual shelves, different colors. If they manage to sell 100 of that shampoo that is picked out when the person has freedom to look around and browse the area, they have profited and created a fun game for the individual picked to play. It's just a small business idea that I made up.

(2/2):

https://refurbishedbelthagor.newgrounds.com/news/post/1242301